If
I thought I'd live to be a hundred, I'd go back to college
next fall. I was drafted
into the Army at the end of my junior
year and, after four years in the service, had no inclination
to return to finish. By then, it seemed, I knew everything.

Well,
as it turns out, I don't know everything, and I'm ready
to spend some time learning. I wouldn't want to pick
up where I left
off. I'd like to start all over again as
a freshman. You see, it isn't just the education that
appeals
to me. I've visited a dozen colleges in the
last two years, and college life looks extraordinarily
pleasant. 
The
young people on campus are all gung
ho to get out and get
at life. They don't seem to understand they're
having one of its best parts. Here they are with no
responsibility to anyone but themselves, a hundred or
a thousand ready-made
friends, teachers trying to help them, families at home
waiting for them to return for Christmas to tell all
about their triumphs, three meals a day — so it isn't
gourmet
food — but you can't have everything. 
Too
many students don't really have much patience with the
process of being educated.
They think half the teachers are idiots,
and I wouldn't deny
this. They think the system
stinks
sometimes. I wouldn't deny that. They think there aren't
any nice girls/boys around. I'd deny that. They just
won't know what an idyllic
time of life college can be until it's over. 
The
students are anxious to acquire the knowledge they think
they need to make
a buck, but they aren't really interested
in education for education's sake. That's where they're
wrong, and that's why I'd like to go back to college.
I know now what a joy knowledge can be, independent
of anything you do with it. 
I'd
take several courses in philosophy.
I like the thinking process that goes
with it. Philosophers
are fairer than is absolutely
necessary, but I like them, even the ones that I think
are wrong. Too much of what I know of the great philosophers
comes secondhand
or from condensations. I'd like to take a course in
which I actually had to read Plato,
Aristotle,
Hume,
Spinoza,
Locke,
John
Dewey and the other great thinkers. 
I'd
like to take some calculus,
too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction
and not much interest, either, but there's something
going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and
I'd like to find out what it is. My report cards won't
be mailed to my father and mother, so I won't have to
worry about marks. I bet
I'l1 do better than when they were mailed. 
There
are some literary
classics I ought to read and I never will, unless I'm
forced to by a good professor, so I'll take a few courses
in English literature. I took a course that featured
George
Gordon Byron, usually referred to now as
"Lord
Byron," and I'd like to take that over again. I
did very well in it the first time. I actually read
all of Don
Juan and have never gotten over how great
it was. I know I could get an A in that if I took it
over. I'd like to have a few easy courses. 
My
history is very weak, and I'd want several history courses.
I'm not going to break
my back over them, but I'd like to be refreshed
about the broad outline
of history. When someone says sixteenth century to me,
I'd like to be able to it with some names and events.
This is just a little conversational conceit,
but that's life. 
If
I can find a good teacher, I'd certainly want to go
back over English grammar
and usage.
He'd have to be good, because you might not think so
sometimes, but I know a lot about using the language.
Still, there are times when I'm stumped.
I was wondering the other day what part of speech the
word "please" is in the sentence, "Please
don't take me seriously." 
I've
been asked to speak at several college graduation ceremonies.
Maybe if I graduate, they'll ask me to speak at my own. 
(709 words)
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